This morning I received a letter from my respiratory consultant saying that there has been no significant improvements whilst on the trial of Omalizumab, therefore there is no point continuing with it. I'm surprised at how disappointed I felt reading that letter. I mean, I was expecting this to be the outcome as the improvements have been very small and maybe not even there, maybe I was just seeing improvements because I so desperately wanted them. I was really suffering with side effects, mainly joint pain, and I had suspected that the side effects were outweighing any benefits.
I still clung onto that tiny bit of hope that this would be my 'miracle cure', I knew deep down that it wasn't but until someone else told me otherwise then that thought remained. Now, someone else has told me.
I'm due to see my consultant in a few weeks so I guess we'll discuss it properly then.
Christmas is my favourite time of year, but this year I can't shake a sadness. I've noticed my old depressive thought patterns re-emerging. I don't know.... I hope I'm just thinking too much. I can't find the words to write anymore on that, meh.
I hope everyone has had a lovely Christmas, and I wish you all a happy, healthy and peaceful 2011 :)