Wednesday, 30 May 2012

That's the way the cookie crumbles

Well, I did know it wasn't going to last but that doesn't stop me from feeling a little sad that the spell of feeling well is over :( I've been feeling ill for a few days, initially I thought it was mainly down to the weather as I don't get on too well with the heat, but no, my GP confirmed today that I have a chest infection. Stupid lungs causing stupid problems. Still, I don't feel as poorly as I often do when I have a chest infection, so hopefully the Amoxicillin will stop things from getting worse and I can avoid hospital!

I don't have much else to say, work is going well, uni is going well, a few other things..... not so well. I'm not sure how much of that is down to me feeling generally fed up/down/unwell though, so hopefully things will pick up.

Oh, in other, better news, I did try a Starbucks Chocolate Cookie Crumble Frappuccino today - yum!!!!

Thursday, 17 May 2012

Normality is so underrated

Life is going well, I thought it would be nice to make a positive blog post for a change rather than only writing an update when I have something to whine about!

Today, I realised that I feel well, I'd go as far as to say that I feel good. I appreciate that probably sounds like a strange thing to say. You see, I think I've become so used to feeling wheezy/breathless/tired/okay as long as I don't do too much, that I forget that it's not 'normal' to feel that way. There was a time, not all that long ago, when I didn't feel that way all the time! 
I was at Alton Towers over the weekend, when I was there last October I remember I was pretty much okay, but needing to use my inhalers more than I liked, and needing to sit down every so often. This time I felt as though I had 'normal' lungs like everyone else. Obviously, I still took my medications during the day regardless of feeling well, but there was no needing to sit down to discreetly use my inhalers, no concerns about walking across the park, no feeling exhausted due to a combination of episodes of struggling to breathe and disturbed sleep for the same reason. 
Of course the brittle asthma hasn't disappeared, but the past week or so I've felt as though I have 'normal', well controlled asthma..... it's nice to be able to do 'normal' things without having to consider my health and whether I feel up to it. I know this is unlikely to last, I've had little spells like this before and I don't know what causes my lungs to be so well behaved for a little while, then revert back to being a nightmare, but it's nice when it happens! I guess the unpredictability is part of the definition of being brittle?

Due to the disastrous past 5/6 years I've had, I'm under the care of various health professionals; both mental and physical health professionals. The input from the mental health professionals has lessened as time has gone by, and today I was discharged from one service. I've felt for a while that I was ready to be discharged, and I've been happy to have very limited contact with the service as I knew I didn't need their input any longer - today was actually my first and only appointment with them this year. It was so great to hear someone else echo my thoughts, and to get such positive feedback.

Oh, and I love my job! All the hard work over the years to get back to working as a nurse was worth it. I knew it would be, but it was hard to keep going at times. I really thought I'd have a huge problem with my confidence, but it hasn't been anywhere near as bad as I thought. Of course, I'm not 100% confident in the skills and abilities I had years ago, but definitely don't need my hand held quite as much as I anticipated.

So yes, life is smiles and positivity. I'm even feeling motivated, this is not something I come across too often! Little things like taking the time to moisturise my face, planning what I'm going to eat - healthier meals rather than complete junk food, thinking about how I can get some more activity into my day - this one is not easy, but even just walking a little more is a start. Tomorrow, I'm going to clean my little flat top to bottom, and I'm rather looking forward to doing it! lol maybe the discharge from the mental health service was a little premature!!!!!! 

Saturday, 5 May 2012

Playing at being a nurse

So, I'm now a pretend nurse aka on my Return to Practice course! It's going really well, I looked through my diary and was shocked when I realised I've actually only done 4 shifts in this role; I feel so at home already :) I guess the fact that I've got a lovely mentor really helps. She tried to get me to take charge of 8 patients yesterday, I was a wimp and turned all wide eyed and scared. As the day went on I realised that I just need to get on and do it, so before I went home I made a point of telling my mentor that I wanted to take charge of some patients on our next shift - scary!!!!!!! 

The only negative aspect I have found in this role is that there is no set uniform. Student nurses have a different uniform so you can immediately identify them as students. Return to Practice nurses have to wear the same uniform as a registered nurse, this means people can't tell by looking at me that I'm not yet a registered nurse (I was registered, but as I had so much time away from working as a nurse my registration lapsed, this course is to get me back on the register). So people ask and tell me things, and expect me to know what they're going on about! Still, it's a minor negative and overall I love it :) :)

Now, I just need to get motivated and do some of the written work and reading that I need to do!!!!