Sunday, 9 May 2010


I should be in hospital, but I don't want to be, so I'm not.
I know, I know, really clever Dawn *roll eyes* I should know better, blah blah. I don't think I'll be able to avoid being admitted for much longer anyway :(

To follow on from my last post, Wednesday spent a few hours in hospital under observation, Thursday was fine (thanks to the stupid amount of drugs I took on Wednesday to get out of hospital), Friday I was ok until the evening when I started wheezing and feeling breathless. Yesterday I was ok until about 7pm, drove home from where I was (over an hours drive) feeling worse and worse. Thought 'I refuse to give into these stupid lungs' so sat here with my inhalers and pulse oximeter - althought that is completely useless as I ignore it until the numbers get scarily low!
1am I wasn't feeling any better but not bad enough to call an ambulance (note; not bad enough to call an ambulance for me, if it had of been anyone else they would have had an ambulance called for them hours previously, I know another demonstration of my own stupidity). Anyway, 1am I decide to go up to bed, gather all the pillows so I can sit upright in bed. Doze, can't breathe, wake up, doze.... and repeat until 8am when I finally managed to get some sleep.

I am feeling slightly better now, but I've had to cancel my plans for today :( I'm fine as long as I don't try to move too much.... I'm going to attempt a shower a bit later on so that could be fun.

I'm so fed up. I could take a huge amount of steroids, but I don't want to AND as demonstrated already this week, all that will do is delay the inevitable admission to hospital. So todays plan; sats of 90% = hospital. Right now my pulse is still high but considering how much salbutamol I've had that's not surprising, and my sats are hoovering around 94%.

I don't understand why I have such a problem getting myself to hospital, if I'd been well enough to walk to my car last night I would have driven to the local Minor Injuries Unit where they would have nebulised me and called an ambulance. I KNOW they would have called an ambulance to take me to A&E 30 minutes drive away. So why can't I just call the ambulance myself?!?! If I'd been with someone else who was in my position last night I would have called an ambulance regardless of whether they wanted me to or not. I suppose I'll just wait and see as the day/night progresses.

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