Friday, 13 August 2010

Stupid lungs 1 - Dawn 0

First, I feel bad for moaning about my respiratory team in my last post. They're great, I'm just pretty fed up with quite a few things right now.

I've just been reading something written by someone with asthma, talking about their asthma and the fact that they're using their blue inhaler (ventalin I assume) 4 or 5 times a day!! Wow, if I only used my inhalers that much then I'd be very happy indeed! I'm not trying to downplay that persons asthma, experiences, or distress and discomfort. I just feel... kinda jealous I suppose!
I don't know anyone in the 'real' world with brittle or severe asthma. I read and comment on a few peoples blogs who have it, but it's not the same. I don't really have anyone to talk to, some people will happily listen to me whine on but they don't understand. I'd like to have someone to talk to who can identify and understand how I feel :(

I was supposed to be meeting a friend for lunch today and I had to cancel. She was lovely about it, very understanding, but I feel awful. Partly because I've let her down, partly because I was looking forward to getting out and I was hoping to buy some new clothes, but mainly because I've let my stupid lungs stop me from doing something. I don't like to give in, I don't do it very often, and I don't do it quietly!
There was no way I was going to make it though. I was seriously struggling to breathe, sats rapidly varying between 82% and 89%, and that was all whilst sitting still. I know, I know, I should have called an ambulance. I'm clever like that *rolls eyes* I'm up to 93% now, not great but I don't plan on running any marathons, or moving very much at all for that matter so I'm sure I'll be fine for the rest of the day.

I think it's safe to conclude that a visit to hospital is in the pipe line for the not too distant future :(

Anyway, moving on :) I had a pretty rough day asthma wise yesterday, and I wanted to go out yesterday evening to watch the Perseid meteor shower. I was sensible and decided that even though the attack had calmed down, going out in the cold night air, whilst already a little wheezy and exhausted would not be a good idea. The perseids are north east and every window in my flat faces west haha! So from my bedroom window I was able to observe south west, west, and north west (ish lol). Typically, the 2 street lights that are in view of my window have been off for the past few weeks but they must have replaced the bulbs so I had halogen lights and the occasional car headlights to ignore to!! I wasn't holding out much hope of meteor spotting! BUT I spotted 4 :) :) They're amazing, I finally went to bed at 1am very happy.

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