Tuesday, 24 August 2010

The good and the bad

So the good; I got back in contact with a few friends last week, people I've unintentionally lost contact with over the past however many months. It was really lovely to have a catch up, I'm so bad at keeping in contact with people. I don't mean to fall out of touch with people, it just happens, and then before I know it it's been months since we last spoke! It was amazing to notice how much an hours conversation lifted my mood!! I need to make more of an effort to keep in contact with my friends that I don't see very often.
Another good; I've remained well enough to stay out of hospital another week. I feel like I'm only delaying the inevitable, but we'll see....

The bad... after a lot of thought, I've come to the conclusion that working makes my asthma deteriorate so much faster than when I'm not working :-( I know full well if I'd have been working right now then I'd have ended up in hospital. I don't get to sleep until after 2am, then routinely wake up during the night/early hours thanks to my stupid lungs. My best hours for sleep are roughly 8am til midday. If I was working then I'd have to be up for work before then, and multiple nights bad sleep combined with unhappy lungs often lands me in hospital - I think I get tired much more quickly, making me very poorly once my stupid lungs start to play up. This realisation makes me sad and quite worried, I hope the day doesn't come where I'm unable to work (let's ignore the fact that for the past 4 years I've been off sick more than I've actually worked!!).
Talking of work (yep work is bad for now), I should be back to work already. I was given the all clear to return to work at the end of July. A letter was sent to my manager, I was waiting for her to contact me. She hasn't and I don't think she is planning to! First of all I was patiently waiting, then impatiently waiting, then being stubborn so not contacting them, now I don't want to go back so I'm not contacting them! However, I know this can't last, so I'll have to give them a call sometime soon. Hmmm I could write quite a bit about the way I'm being treated by my manager and colleagues, but I don't want to ruin my mood so that can wait for another day.

I've got an outpatient appointment tomorrow, another assessment to see if I'm 'well enough' for the 2nd dose of Omalizumab. I don't feel any different to last week, my peak flow diary hasn't changed so I'm going to be interested to see what is said/suggested.

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